


V. Track : Lovesick Fool - The Cab

by RubyFiamma



Series: March to the Beat of 8059 [5]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: 8059, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1607582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyFiamma/pseuds/RubyFiamma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Summary] Yamamoto says three little words that freak out a very non committal Gokudera. </p><p>[Prompt] Write a series of sentences or drabbles with your favorite pairing based off of songs on your iPod or other mp3 playlist. Set it to shuffle and use the first ten songs you hear.</p><p>[Pairing] 8059, YamaxGoku, Yamamoto Takeshi x Gokudera Hayato</p><p>[Fandom] Katekyō Hitman Reborn!</p><p>[Rating] M - Contains swearing, violence, zombies, boys love (boyxboy/yaoi) and sexually suggestive content</p>
            </blockquote>





	V. Track : Lovesick Fool - The Cab

**Author's Note:**

> [Disclaimer] I don't own any of the characters belonging to Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or the plotlines related to the manga/anime. All credits go to Amano-sensei.
> 
> {Amano Akira, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!}
> 
> I also do not own the titles nor lyrics featured by any of the musicians in this collection. All credits go to their respective creators.
> 
> Let's get this party started!

V.  **L** **ovesick Fool** **\- The Cab**

* * *

He did it.

He just  _had_  to do it.

_Moron._ _You just can't keep your mouth shut._

_Che... it's not my fault, the baseball idiot had it coming._

_Yeah... is that why you feel so guilty?_

"Ugh, shut up!"

Gokudera Hayato smacked himself in the forehead in hopes of shutting up his inner monologue. He sat on his sofa staring at the wall, smoking like a chimney and furiously twitching his leg. He was so annoyed. So pissed off. Why did the fucking idiot have to say shit like that? And more so... why did he have to look so... defeated after? Like a kicked puppy.

 _"Who put that rock in your chest, Gokudera?"_ he had asked, with that sorrowful face.

Gokudera had wanted to apologize then but his pride kept him from doing so. It was only because of that face. It made Gokudera pity him and he loathed to pity  _anyone._

When Gokudera hadn't responded, the bastard actually had the nerve to scowl at  _him_  like he was the one in the wrong.

" _Ma... I get it_ ," the idiot said, narrowing his eyes. " _I'll leave then._ "

Gokudera hadn't decided if his sudden rage was because of the slick arrogance in the taller man's voice or because he was admitting defeat so easily. Gokudera decided it was both and since this bastard never took  _anything_ seriously, it was no wonder why he had given up on their relationship - ahem, their  _argument_.

" _Finally! I'm glad you let those words sink into that thick fucking skull of yours!_ " Gokudera had shouted at him. " _We aren't anything, alright? I'm fucking nothing to you, you're nothing to me, we're not even friends. So good, go ahead and get the fuck out. Good riddance, baseball idiot. Don't fucking come back_."

And the look in the moron's eyes when he said those words dealt his gut a hard and heavy blow, nearly knocking the wind out of him.

That stupid baseball idiot's eyes dropped to the floor and he bit his lip, slowly nodding. " _Aha... you're right, Gokudera. How stupid of me to think that,_ " he said, suddenly looking up and smiling.

But it was the wrong kind of smile.

Gokudera smashed the cigarette butt into the table and started pacing the floor.

_You should call him._

"Ha! Like hell I'd call that idiot."

Gokudera had too much pride to call the stupid baseball idiot. Not only pride, but he wasn't one hundred percent sure that he was at fault here.

In all seriousness, where did that bastard get off, saying things like that to him? Shouldn't he know better than to throw words like that around so loosely? Didn't he know how Gokudera would react?

Gokudera guessed the idiot was too stupid to know the repercussions...

_But did you really have to break up with him for it?_

_Break up with him?! He's not my fucking boyfriend! I don't even like him!_

_If he's not your boyfriend, then what do you call the man you've been kissing, been fucking for the last three years? The ONLY man you've been with, mind you. You're an idiot._

Gokudera stopped dead in his tracks. "Alright, I'm convinced. Only fucking lunatics have conversations with themselves in their heads... and why does my other voice sound like an arrogant ass? Like  _Shamal?_ And why the  _fuck_  am I still talking to myself?"

Gokudera pulled anther cigarette out of his pack and lit it with a trembling hand.  _Wha... why am I shaking like this?_

He shook his head, hit his forehead a few times with the heel of his hand, all in hopes of knocking the voices out and went into his bedroom. Maybe he needed to get drunk, maybe that would solve the problem of the voices in his head... and this...  _pain_ in his heart.

_You know why it hurts, don't you?_

Putting out the cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table, Gokudera crawled under his bedsheets and closed his eyes. He hoped the stupid voices would fucking stop and let him think.

He turned over on his side and unconsciously outstretched his arm to wrap around a ghost of a body. His arm fell to the bed and he clutched the bedsheets the way he clutched at his chest.

He's not the same now, something went missing. Around his chest there's a cage, it feels like a prison and behind his ribs is the thing that hurts the most. It wrenched, it twisted, it was barely beating.

"Fuck... " Gokudera uttered in a sharp breath.

 _On the bright side, my bed is so much more spacious,_ he throught, trying to convince himself with little avail.

_Who are you kidding? Your bed is half empty, not half full._

Gokudera groaned as the pain in his heart felt like it was slowly being pierced by the dull edge of a blade.

_The baseball idiot's sword?_

_No, it isn't his fau- wait._

Gokudera sighed. This mental war he was waging was not doing him any justice. It made his fucking head hurt. He can't think logically like this... but when he  _really_ thought about it, the other half of him knew it wasn't actually the bastard's fault. It was his and he knew it, he just didn't want to admit it.

Leaving himself open and vulnerable wasn't something he was going to do so easily, that's how you got hurt and he didn't want to hurt.

_Idiot... isn't that how you're feeling now?_ _Am I? My heart feels like this because I smoked too much. Gave myself a minor heart attack probably._

His inner voice scoffed at him. Yes. Scoffed. Gokudera was definitely losing it.

_You're more stupid than the baseball idiot. At least he knows how he feels. Do you know how you feel, asshole?_

"Argh!" Gokudera sat up, extremely annoyed and threw the blankets off himself. "Yeah, I do. I know I'd rather live with broken bones than lay here all on my own like a lovesick fool."

He instantly clapped a hand over his mouth but it was too late to stop the verbal admittance. Somehow that made it more real and that pissed him off.

Gokudera sprang out of bed and rushed out to his living room. He was going to find something distracting to do and forget about that idiot. The thoughts were messing with his head and if he kept this up, he'd be rendered insane and no use to the Tenth and he was  _not_ going to let that bastard become the Tenth's right hand man in his stead.

"Fuck it," he said decidedly. "Fuck it, fuck him, fuck you... fuck it  _all,_ " he snarled, slipping on his shoes and throwing on his jacket.

He swung open his front door and the many years spent honing of his senses told him there was someone there.

Before stepping out of the apartment, Gokudera looked down and was met with wide, wet and red-rimmed hazel eyes.

That gut kicking feeling came back again and he felt the oxygen hitch in his throat.

"Yama... moto?" he managed, exhaling a shaky breath.

"Go-Gokudera," the idiot choked. "I- uh, I... Sorry, I just needed a minute." He smiled weakly and rose to his feet. "I'm... ah... I'm going now."

There was that fucking defeated look again. Sad eyes, small knot in his brow and his lips wrenched into an unnatural frown.

"Yamamoto - wait." Gokudera grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside the apartment and shut the door behind them.

He pushed Yamamoto up against the back of the door and kissed him feverishly.

The idiot was hesitant at first but gave in, responding by cupping the back of Gokudera's head and sliding his long, slender fingers through Gokudera's hair. Gokudera couldn't stop his idle hands from trailing along the lean athletic lines of his body.

Gokudera broke free from the heated and frantic kiss, panting and feeling heat coil in his belly. His skin prickled and bumped but was most interesting was the organ behind his ribcage, his heart, no longer stilled. No longer wrenched or twisted or felt like it was being stabbed.

His heart was beating at an accelerated rate, thudding loudly against his chest, his blood rushing in his ears.

The idiot looked down at him and brushed Gokudera's cheek softly with the back of his hand. "I... know you hate it, but I... I love you," he said and the smile that Gokudera had tried to deny he loved slowly returned to Yamamoto's face.

"And I will wait until Gokudera can say it, even if it takes forever," he said, wrapping his fingers around Gokudera's chin and tilting his head upwards.

Gokudera noticed that the voice inside his head had disappeared and he deduced it was because he was no longer divided. That all sides of him were on the same page.

His cheeks got hotter and his heart beat faster but he wasn't in pain anymore. He didn't feel like a lovesick fool. He felt comfortable, content...  _in love._

"Che... you idiot...," he began, pulling Yamamoto in close. "As if I could ever love a baseball freak like you."

And with that, he wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's neck and kissed the bastard, letting the four words he couldn't say pour off his lips.

_I love you, too._


End file.
